I’m pleased to offer you a few more reflections from abuse survivors, on the topic of gratitude:
Gratitude is a choice. I choose to live my life with an attitude of gratitude. That means my glass is more than half full. Considering the circumstances of my life, I live in paradise today. I have a roof over my head, food in the refrigerator, my overall health - mentally, emotionally, spirtually, and physically - is generally in a good place. Most importantly, I come from a family that genuinely cares about each other and that's priceless. My gratitude allows me to be helpful to others with support and encouragement.
I feel particularly grateful this year, having survived an accident and a health crisis. I appreciate just being alive. Over the past few years, I've been working on my spiritual self; maybe you can call it “soul work.” Recently, I made the leap to just living in the present moment, getting rid of old belongings that tied me to a problematic past. I feel freer now. And my family life is improved. Despite all the traumas and troubles of the past, I am very fortunate to still be alive and well, living with loving family and moving into a future I'm eager to create.
I’ve spent years trying to heal from a darkness that had no bounds, but in the end, my healing journey has finally reached a point where I can recognize that the abuse has provide me with a huge catapult into the incredible Light and Love that comes with a solid, spiritual path, a path I never could have reached within the Catholic setting. I no longer go through life constantly defaulting into shame, unworthiness, and fear as I was programmed to do; I now recognize that those ten years of horrors, and all the deep, healing work I’ve had to do to help me through it, have made me spiritually stronger than anything traditional religion could ever have given me, had the abuse not occurred. I’ve developed increasing levels of spiritual strength, confidence and clarity. I have learned to replace the Church’s rote prayers (Hail Mary’s and Our Fathers) with personalized “talks” with angels and other Higher Beings who guide me through Love. I have replaced thoughts and behaviors fueled by shame, guilt, and fear of God’s wrath, with behaviors based in compassion and motivated by “what would Jesus do.” I’ve reached a point where I get to experience love-based connectedness to others around me and to the spiritual Guides that surround me, and for that, I am incredibly grateful.
I am grateful for safe spaces to share my voice as a survivor, to be believed, and to listen to and be impacted by other survivor voices. This is due to the kindness and care of many people; of special note: the Awake Community, the events sponsored by Fr. Jerry McGlone, SJ at Georgetown, the events sponsored by Paula Kaempffer at the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis, and events sponsored by the Archdiocese of Chicago. Breaking the silence of abuse, adding survivor voices to our local and national church narrative, and lay leadership are all vitally important for our own personal mental and spiritual health as well as the overall health of the church and the people of God.
If you have experienced sexual abuse in the Catholic Church, I would love to include your thoughts on next month’s topic - “Since the Dallas Charter.” You can find information about joining the Survivors’ Voices Panel here: An Invitation for Survivors.
I’ll have the November News Roundup for you next week. Until then, have a wonderful Thanksgiving, however you celebrate.
~ Sara
What encouraging words you have shared. Thank You.
Kathy Klamka