Survivors' Voices: Lawyers
I've found that people have a lot of misconceptions about what it is like to work with the legal system regarding abuse, so I wanted to give the Survivors’ Voices Panel an opportunity to share their personal experiences. Here’s what they had to say:
When I was looking into legal action, the lawyer I consulted was the brother of a clergy abuse survivor. He went above and beyond to make sure that I was comfortable at all points of the process. I eventually decided not to sue (the outcome wouldn't have made up for the emotional distress a legal battle would have cost me), but I am so grateful for the way that he treated me with care and compassion, because I know it was rare.
When I first disclosed the abuse, I was advised to speak with a very well-known attorney, who took on my case. I trusted their advice even though I was skeptical of the strategy (my abuse happened in a state where the SOL has long passed). First and foremost, I wanted my perpetrator’s diocesan employer to know - as they served in a position with vulnerable people - and I wanted to make policy changes. When that attorney refused and made it about money, I went with my gut and interviewed others attorneys. Don’t feel like you are stuck if the lawyer does not meet your needs or listen to you, regardless of how well-known they are.
I reached out to a colleague who is a judge for advice about a defamation suit. He was clear that he believed me. He was also clear that it would be costly and my likelihood of winning would be low. Not because of me, but because "they would come in their religious garb on full display, and they would be believed, even though you are the one telling the truth." He said he had seen in happen so many times. He is Catholic but felt the best advice was to leave the Church.
I have never allowed myself to linger in "what ifs." There is no magic wand or redo. There is no way to go backwards, to first disclose my secrets to someone different than I did and to find a good advocate who could help me find the resources I needed back then. But if there was, I would have benefited to know: 1) The Catholic Church is stocked full of attorneys at the ready to defend the church against our truths and accusations. Correspondence to safe environment is open to attorney review even without our knowledge that attorneys are reading the emails we send to the diocese. Diocesan attorneys can and do view reports written about us; in my diocese, these same reports are not allowed to be reviewed by us, the victims who reported. 2) There are actually canon lawyers who are advocates for people abused by the church. This was a surprise to me. I thought canon lawyers all worked to defend the church or worked within the institution itself. 3) Legal council is sometimes available to folks without financial ability to pay. At the very least, I would NOT have shared my truth with church leadership and safe environment so freely and so vulnerably if I would have known then what I know now. I hate that I have no access or say about my own story, my own truth.
I have reached out to a canon lawyer who is also an abuse survivor. They were helpful to work through potential prescriptions available via canon law. In the end, the canon law time had lapsed just like the civil/criminal SOL. If the Church was serious about this issue, they might consider removing a time limit on imposing a penalty for abuse.
Looking back, I would have benefited from legal council. Yet at my core I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that restorative justice - working out my childhood history with current people of the church - was the right course for me, though my attempts failed miserably and I ended up with more trauma than I began with. Back then I was clueless to any route that included attorneys, advocates, or therapists, and church leadership steered me away from those routes. What I did finally end up with is my integrity, knowing my intentions and attempts at restorative relationships were authentic but not received. I know the way to collective healing, and it isn't what I have experienced nor what I see happening in many situations today. Current movements might be changing this though.
My parish pastor was a civil lawyer before ordination. When I met with him for the first time about my abuse, I was looking for pastoral support and an advocate to make parish-level changes. Instead, I was met with a barrage of questions about my legal case: "Why isn't he in jail? Why didn't you sue him?" His line of questions left me feeling unseen, as though my case was only worth hearing by the Church if the legal system authenticated my experiences.
I will have more on this topic next week. If you have experienced any form of abuse by a Catholic leader and would like to share your own thoughts on this or future topics, I would be grateful to include your perspective. You can find information about joining the Survivors’ Voices Panel here: An Invitation for Survivors.
Thank you,
Sara