As you probably know, many Catholic bishops highlight their willingness to meet with any abuse survivor who would like to see them. I have personally heard many stories from survivors who have taken their bishops up on this offer, so I thought you might like to hear firsthand what it’s like for a survivor to meet with a bishop. Of course, each person’s experience is unique, but hopefully these stories give you some sense of the various ways these meetings can unfold.
Mine Archbishop Lori, was going to meet with me. I as given rules. A member of the panel of the archdiocese who judged my story had to accompany me. I asked why She said so you won't hurt him. What I thought? What kind of an apology is this? I wanted no part and I felt more threaten to their ulterior motives. I passed. I don`t need this. What kind of sick gesture is this. ---Donna VonDenBosch
I met with reps from Diocese of Lansing in September of 1992. It was a huge effort for me as I was so scared and had a horrible story to tell. I told of what happened with the first priest who abused me, force oral sex on a six year old first grader. I named the other priests who abused me until I graduated after 12 years of attending a Catholic school in Jackson, MIchigan. The three reps, the moderator of the Curia, a diocesan lawyer, a silent nun were civil. There was sympathy but empathy was completely absent. After getting my story told, the moderator of the Curia asked me if my father sexually abused me? Did he admit it? He turned what I told him back on me. I have no words to describe how this felt. Then the moderator of the curia and the nun left the room. The lawyer stood and asked me if at anytime did I approach a priest for sex? Twice he asked me this. I have no words for this treatment. I realize now that my problem is not what happened when I attended St. John School in Jackson, Michigan for 12 years and abused by priests, but this meeting with the diocesan reps is my issue, my horrific emotional and spiritual injury in September of 1992. My rage would fuel NYC for years and how do I overcome this? If someone had hurt one of my children like this I would leave no stone unturned to find the “Murderers in the Guise of Kindness.”
Survivors' Voices: Meeting with the Bishop
How do I share my story?
Mine Archbishop Lori, was going to meet with me. I as given rules. A member of the panel of the archdiocese who judged my story had to accompany me. I asked why She said so you won't hurt him. What I thought? What kind of an apology is this? I wanted no part and I felt more threaten to their ulterior motives. I passed. I don`t need this. What kind of sick gesture is this. ---Donna VonDenBosch
So many stories. Thank you all for sharing. I am so sorry for the pain you have endured.
I met with reps from Diocese of Lansing in September of 1992. It was a huge effort for me as I was so scared and had a horrible story to tell. I told of what happened with the first priest who abused me, force oral sex on a six year old first grader. I named the other priests who abused me until I graduated after 12 years of attending a Catholic school in Jackson, MIchigan. The three reps, the moderator of the Curia, a diocesan lawyer, a silent nun were civil. There was sympathy but empathy was completely absent. After getting my story told, the moderator of the Curia asked me if my father sexually abused me? Did he admit it? He turned what I told him back on me. I have no words to describe how this felt. Then the moderator of the curia and the nun left the room. The lawyer stood and asked me if at anytime did I approach a priest for sex? Twice he asked me this. I have no words for this treatment. I realize now that my problem is not what happened when I attended St. John School in Jackson, Michigan for 12 years and abused by priests, but this meeting with the diocesan reps is my issue, my horrific emotional and spiritual injury in September of 1992. My rage would fuel NYC for years and how do I overcome this? If someone had hurt one of my children like this I would leave no stone unturned to find the “Murderers in the Guise of Kindness.”